I'm always thinking of her and when I'm not thinking of her I'm usually missing her. So it's a bit hard to stay in contact with my baby and it doesn't exactly do miracles to my sanity like I think life should stop being such a bitch and give me something reasonable. Two years until I get to be with her for a while and that's even if I can see her then but I'm striding forward hoping all the way. And right now I'm stuck here far away from her always wondering about how she's doing and hoping with all my heart that she's okay. Usually and it's an unfortunate truth she's usually not as happy as she could be and well neither am I but she's worse off then I am by a lot. And that's one of the reasons I'm with her is because of that so that she has someone around to dump raw emotions onto but that's not the main reason...I'm not really sure what the main reason is but I love her I know that much, I love her more then anyone and nothing gonna stop me from being with her except her or death and I mean that. But she doesn't really need me because in all honesty there are plenty more better guys that have big hearts and are looking for the best girl on the planet to love and care about. And that's the thing she doesn't really need me but I need her. If I lose her I know I will not be able to handle my emotions and my memories...hell even daily life will go down the tubes. And that's what scares me is if I lose her because TWO years until I can get to say I might have her for good but until then I worry because things change and know change and it knows me. Hahahaha and as crazy as it may sound and evil I will fight to keep her because I know my life will go strait to deaths door without her so pretty much if someone wants her that person is gonna have to kill me first. Ummm but I don't think it will come down to that, I think me and her will have a life together but until then I will be wondering about my loved one...
P.S. I love you baby and I miss you a ton.
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