Saint of miracles hear me out

So some things could delay me seeing her in the future and some bad things could happen to her too. She tells me not to worry and I should take it easy. I guess she's right because she can handle herself and I know that she's stronger then I am. It might be a longer road to seeing her but luckily she will wait for me, yeah I will still be down a lot and I will be worrying because I can't help it but at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel. In the mean time I hope that doesn't happen and if there is any god answer my prayers for once because if it was any time for a nice little miracle now would be the time. Ughh life doesn't get any easier for anyone, I feel like I should make life into a person and kill it 115 times to make it feel like I feel and another 5 trillion times for all the people on this earth that are tortured. Also I contemplated suicide today the first time in a while but lucky for me I have my baby who has a way with words. I would have a bullet in my head or a machete through my heart if it wasn't for her, I love her so much it can be felt...yeah you can feel the love emitting off me.