The six and his lessons

Flashback a few years ago when I had girlfriends besides my angel, three exactly each bearing a message very similar but with a different meaning. Number one my first taught me to trust nobody because all people no matter how close might betray you. She herself betrayed me and from that my first lesson was learned. Number two my second  taught me that I shouldn't try to make a relationship work and that nobody should change for the sake of just being together. She and I were never meant to be together so that's how my second lesson was learned. And number three she taught me how much love is worth and that love can make you or break you. She died and I held her so close and her death nearly took me along with her so that's how I learned my third lesson. My three girlfriends here all used me to their advantage and got me to fight others for them, they all hated me, I just never knew so I loved them back. When I figured it out after they all ditched me I hated them especially the third because she scared my mind and I will never be the happy boy I once was. I hate everyone I keep them away and I'm cruel, cold, maybe even evil but it's not my fault because my hatred, cruelness, coldness, evil are all justified. But I'm not all bad because even though I emptied my own heart and pushed everyone away I still have room for one. For one year I went without someone to fill that one space in my heart and it ate away at me driving me to the edge. Then I met angel who filled that space and reminded me what life is worth. Me and her are going to be together forever and  life, people, time, distance, hell even she will not stop me from doing that. I'm good with her and that's not shit either, I wouldn't do anything that would harm her, she has my permission to kill me if I ever do, burn me alive whatever. Keeping me and her together, making her happy, keeping her safe...these are my objectives and if I fail I'm done. I'm not going to kill myself but I'm done with love, hope, happiness, all of that I will no longer give a damn about. And if she ever comes back to me I won't say yes because it wouldn't be the same as it once was. If I lose her once, I lose her for good but I will still be there as a friend just no longer a lover...I'm only going to win or lose and this war will be the last one I ever fight because this will be the war that decides my fate and future. It's all or nothing and I am going to fight for it all because I love her and past her is nothing.