1000 miles away

From where the fight is, down there in that place I never seen, in that place where the one I love is, that place that gets me scared more then anything could. There's a threat that I can't take care of that I can't fend off this boy much like me is threatening my future as I know it. He is trying to steal the love of my life away from me, he may very well be able to do that. I'm not there to make a difference, to stop what is happening, all I have is words and no actions...this battle is an up hill fight for me. I'm screwed, I'm done, he's just as good as I am if not better, I can't stop him. My damn love as I know her has a damn crush on him even so what's it worth anymore, I knew this would happen and there is nothing I could do to stop it. Why did I even try? Why do I even try? I'm doomed, damned, cluster fucked, done. Where's my place in this world? I have been lead so many different directions I can't remember what the fuck happened to me, I'm fucked up so much my mind talks to me as if I'm a different person. I try to love people and all they ever did was betray, ignore, and use me as if I was there slave. I don't deserve to lose another, not this one, not to some rat. I love my angel too much, if I lose her she tells me I will live my life fine well in my mind I will go back to square one. I will be back to my ultra hateful, silent, sad, angry state of mind. I just want top be loved, is that too much to ask? Hotness if I lose you I won't be fine, I won't be sane, I won't feel loved anymore. All I want is to be loved, I was hated my entire life so far, nobody cares but my damn parents. You are the only other person that cares hotness. I want to be loved, I want to love you, I want to marry you, and live a life together with you. But so does he doesn't he? You might already be done with me and are just trying to think of a way to dump me softly well if that's the case then get it over with. If you want to be with him instead of me make your decision before spring because I don't want to see you if you love him. And if you do end up with him well have fun with him and forget you ever met me because the day you dump me will be the last day you ever hear from me ever again. Next time you will ever hear of me I will be a war hero so maybe then I will be loved and remembered. So hotness it's me or him so it's your choice but hey can you please just give me a chance? I won't ask for anything ever again so please give me a chance? I don't ask for much but it's up to you. I love you and I hope you will always love me back as lovers.