What might happen

Well just took a long look at my life and it made me angry so I don't know, might as well just say what's on my mind.So  long time ago when I was small I wanted to join the military, got older got a girlfriend I changed my mind, shit happened I wanted to join again, met someone and she kinda changed my mind but it's undecided.Honestly odds of me ever having a remotely good life is very bad, the odds of me enlisting are fairly high.I kinda wish died before I met my angel so I would have never left any mark on her life but I'm easy to forget so it would not matter probably anyway, I just wish me and her were living together as friends but it will be a while til that happens if it happens.Well if I never get to see her I hope that her life works out and she forgets about me, I know where I will be if that happens and hopefully it will end fast.