The day before yesterday

When I was born I was going to be named Angus but two people I never met changed that,aunt Anna and uncle Frank.It was more of my aunt I think she made the decision to name me Anthony after the saint Anthony who is the saint of miracles.I was religious when I was a child as my life went on things happened some for the better but most of it for the worse.I prayed for my father who is being used by the family but things never changed his health gets worse by each day,his father suffered the same way he does in fact his dad died right in front of him.My grandfather on my moms side of the family died when I was 8 or 10 he was a very nice man,he served in the military,I wish I got to know him better.My mother developed cancer and years off her life have disappeared.My family basically sees me as a failure and is always on my back.And a little over a year ago my 3rd girlfriend was killed and since then I have stopped believing my catholic religion,why? Because it seems that my hopes and prayers fell on deaf ears.The only thing that is left of my religious days is my name which lost its meaning when I lost my hopes.I do have one thing or objective left and it's the only thing that keeps me going,no one will ever get in my way of reaching my objective and protecting it.And I'm not crying about how my life is playing out,I know there are many people who have it way worse.But people who have terrible things happen to them can learn from the experience and maybe help others that suffer so we can all live a bit more happily.